"Alright so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone.
You're just doing your own thing and someone comes out fo the blue,
'Yeah can I take your digits?'
And you're like, "no not in a million years, you're nasty
Please leave me alone'".
Cut to the pub on a lads night out,
Man at the bar cos it was his hout,
Clocks this bird and she looks ok,
She caught him looking and she walks his way,
"Alright darlin, you gonna buy us a drink then?"
"Err no, but I was thinking of buying one for your friend..."
She's got no taste hand on his haist, tries to pull away but
Her lips on his face.
"If you insist I'll have a white wine spritzer"
"Sorry love, but you ain't a pretty picture."
Can't knock em out, can't walk away,
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,
And no you can't have my number,
Because I've lost my phone.
"Oh yeah, actually yeah I'm pregnant, having a baby in like
6 months so no, and yeah, yeah..."
"I recognise his guy..."
That's what she's thinking,
As he walks over her face starts sinking,
"Oh here we go..."
It a routine check that she already knows, she's thinking
"They're all the same."
"Yeah you alright baby? You look alright still, yeah what's
She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away
From the guy on a blag, can't find a light,
"You see the thing is I really don't have the time."
Go away now, let me go.
Are you stupid or just a little slow?
Go away now, I've made myself clear,
Nah it's not gonna happen,
Not in a million years!
"Nah I've gotta go cos my house is on fire, I've hot Herpes,
err no I've got syphilis..."